Kill Elephants. Please.
Three things happened yesterday that cracked me up:
1-I get an international call, just to hear 'OMG I SOOOOOO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT EVIAN!!!!!!' i'm like, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. And, this was from someone who found out about this blog randomly. But randomness is always welcomed, like buying a pink guitar from Selfridge's :p
2- I got a messege: "just ordered an affogato. if its not good, i am driving to KNM and breaking everything". Starbucks SO needs to pay me for all this advertising.
3- i realized that sleep was necessary for my wellbeing. 'you wrote a lot yesterday' and 'you're not as tempermental in real life!' were comments that i would like to believe stemmed from the fact that i slept horribly the day before.
.......................................................
You know there has to be a Starbucks-related story :p
So!
I snooze the alarm four or five times, take my sweet time in getting ready, and then realize i really wanted a 'glass cheese' sandwhich. So i asked them to make me one. And as the smell wafted in the air, and i tried real hard to concentrate of the Beach Boys and not on eating while driving, i made a decision. Even though i was potentially running late, i would make a pit stop at Starbucks.
It was after i came back to my car that i realized that i still had my empty drink cup from yesterday in there (i had apparently chugged the drink before i got to work, which takes like, 3 minutes). And it was after i came to my office that i realized that i have way too many Starbucks bags, napkins, and reciepts.
I really need to stop this Starbucks addiction. It's costing me too much. I need to go to more of those seminars they give, becuase they give you a free drink coupon, which come in handy when you're low on cash.
.........................................................................
I'm off to work, then, having nothing else to say.
OH!
So i walk in MY office (that i share with the only co-worker i like and respect), and there's Purple Elephant, sprawled on the couch. It offended my eyes, which threatened to bleed. When the phone rang, and she didn't budge, i glared, and she stumbled over to pick it up.
Oo yalaitni ma ti7achayt
She proceeded to talk to another co-worker who was in this department, but who moved on to another museum. They talk every day. I don't mind the talking, becuase i'd usually have my head phones on. But today, i was on the phone, and that meant having to hear her in the background.
Now ya'll already know how the very sound of her makes me want to hear nails over chalkboards as relief. But imagine her voice, only coarse, like she had a throat infection (probably from all that screaming). I actually looked at her when her voice almost gave out, signaling that she had better clear her throat now. It's like someone who sniffles all the time, without blowing thier nose.
People like that need to be slapped.
And banished to the lowest depths of hell.
Which, to her, meant having actual work to do.
She's asleep now,
and i'm glad,
becuase i will make the most obnoxious noises, the loudest phone calls, and the most annoying sounds ever- just to spite her, of course :D
But wait,
that might mean that she'd wake up and look at me,
which would mean i would look into her blue contacts,
which would make me want to pluck her eyes out like the Bride did to Elle Driver.
I'm going to go practice my clawing techniques now.
Until the showdown,
-me.
1-I get an international call, just to hear 'OMG I SOOOOOO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT EVIAN!!!!!!' i'm like, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. And, this was from someone who found out about this blog randomly. But randomness is always welcomed, like buying a pink guitar from Selfridge's :p
2- I got a messege: "just ordered an affogato. if its not good, i am driving to KNM and breaking everything". Starbucks SO needs to pay me for all this advertising.
3- i realized that sleep was necessary for my wellbeing. 'you wrote a lot yesterday' and 'you're not as tempermental in real life!' were comments that i would like to believe stemmed from the fact that i slept horribly the day before.
.......................................................
You know there has to be a Starbucks-related story :p
So!
I snooze the alarm four or five times, take my sweet time in getting ready, and then realize i really wanted a 'glass cheese' sandwhich. So i asked them to make me one. And as the smell wafted in the air, and i tried real hard to concentrate of the Beach Boys and not on eating while driving, i made a decision. Even though i was potentially running late, i would make a pit stop at Starbucks.
It was after i came back to my car that i realized that i still had my empty drink cup from yesterday in there (i had apparently chugged the drink before i got to work, which takes like, 3 minutes). And it was after i came to my office that i realized that i have way too many Starbucks bags, napkins, and reciepts.
I really need to stop this Starbucks addiction. It's costing me too much. I need to go to more of those seminars they give, becuase they give you a free drink coupon, which come in handy when you're low on cash.
.........................................................................
I'm off to work, then, having nothing else to say.
OH!
So i walk in MY office (that i share with the only co-worker i like and respect), and there's Purple Elephant, sprawled on the couch. It offended my eyes, which threatened to bleed. When the phone rang, and she didn't budge, i glared, and she stumbled over to pick it up.
Oo yalaitni ma ti7achayt
She proceeded to talk to another co-worker who was in this department, but who moved on to another museum. They talk every day. I don't mind the talking, becuase i'd usually have my head phones on. But today, i was on the phone, and that meant having to hear her in the background.
Now ya'll already know how the very sound of her makes me want to hear nails over chalkboards as relief. But imagine her voice, only coarse, like she had a throat infection (probably from all that screaming). I actually looked at her when her voice almost gave out, signaling that she had better clear her throat now. It's like someone who sniffles all the time, without blowing thier nose.
People like that need to be slapped.
And banished to the lowest depths of hell.
Which, to her, meant having actual work to do.
She's asleep now,
and i'm glad,
becuase i will make the most obnoxious noises, the loudest phone calls, and the most annoying sounds ever- just to spite her, of course :D
But wait,
that might mean that she'd wake up and look at me,
which would mean i would look into her blue contacts,
which would make me want to pluck her eyes out like the Bride did to Elle Driver.
I'm going to go practice my clawing techniques now.
Until the showdown,
-me.
posted by Archeology Uncovered | 8:58 AM
3 Comments:
hmmmm sure you dont work in a zoo? ;)
1- I'm also getting addicted to a coffee place, but Second Cup
2- Dont know how u can handle her, just ask to be moved somewhere else like the basement or the storage room:) at least u can have peace:P
3- good luck:)
Entrepreneur:
Trust me, had i worked in a zoo, and had i seen THIS particular species, i would have made damn well sure that it would be extinct. :D
Fonzy:
(do you also pop the collar of your leather jacket? in this heat?)
1-never tried second cup. but it's very cocky of them, no? to assume that you'd be having a second cup? lol
2-... or moved into the morgue. :p
3- thank you, kind sir!
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